Technology and my introvert nature are an ideal combination for a reclusive existence.
Since the advent of Skype, Facebook, Google, online banking, mobile phones, telework (working from home) and distance learning, being a hermit is an increasingly attractive alternative to face-to-face interaction.
Add a recently acquired coffee machine into the equation, and there’s no reasonable excuse to leave the house any more - except maybe for groceries, weekly choir sessions and the occasional social engagement.
Why go out into the world when I’ve got the world at my keyboard fingertips!

I should’ve realised the day was off to a bad start with the cold shower. That was the first clue.
The power’s gone off. I’d better go and have another word with those boys upstairs – they’ve been unwittingly tripping the power by using a faulty light switch.
“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” says the landlord, “There’s no power in the street today from 8am till 2pm.”
That information would’ve been handy - if I had it the day before.

“You got gaffa tape?”
Nope.
“Newspaper?”
Err…. no.
“Go get some. You can then make a stick by rolling the newspaper and….”
Why? Can’t I just borrow a riding crop?

“But how,” I asked, waving the user manual, “do I create a customer account on the new system?”
I threw the page into the bin and decided to write my own instructions. What’s the point of reading a page full of text if it doesn’t tell you how to actually use the software?
I hate reading complicated instructions. I learn better if you show me how to set up the DVD player or use a new computer program.

My first typewriter was a monster of a machine. It was a bulky contraption that needed great physical strength to operate it, but provided an all-body workout that modern technology sadly can’t match.
Just carrying the damn thing required brute strength, unwavering concentration and fine-tuned reflexes; if accidentally dropped, it could cause grievous bodily harm and potential loss of toes.