“Go get some. You can then make a stick by rolling the newspaper and….”
Why? Can’t I just borrow a riding crop?
It’s not the kind of apparel you’ll find hanging in my wardrobe; hence the absence of suitable props. And I’m certainly not the type to make my own.
That’s why I admire people who can paint masterpieces, sew their own clothes, create ornate jewellery or design furniture pieces. I just don’t have those crafty genes in me.
I’m the type of person who draws outside the lines, cuts shapes unevenly and haphazardly wraps birthday presents – so you won’t find any fancy ribbon-work on my gifts. I’m just not a stickler for that kind of perfection … unless it involves spelling or grammar. I draw the line there!
I’m a techy type instead
Give me a computer, on the other hand, and I can figure out how to transfer files wirelessly from my desktop to the laptop, teach myself how to set up e-newsletter campaigns and chat via Facebook.
I’ve even provided remote help desk support to staff while sitting in a cafe in Byron Bay without access to my laptop or work files. I knew the system so well I could see it in my mind’s eye – okay, it helped that I wrote the user manuals from scratch.
I guess that makes me a closet geek: anything technical appeals to my logical, orderly, systematic brain. If I can do this, then I should be able to do that…
“Wait,” I’d say to our IT guys at work, “Show me how you fixed that!” I do enjoy the challenge of solving my own computer problems.
I also like to pull things apart and put them back together again. As a teenager, I built my own crystal radio and regularly reconstructed my bicycle. It counter-balanced my extreme lack of interest in anything crafty or homely, such as cooking or mending.
I’m therefore not ashamed to admit the following:
10 crafty things I can’t do
1. Embroidery – needles and threads are just not my thing.
2. Crochet – way too fiddly for my liking.
3. Quilting – isn't it cheaper to just buy one?
4. Knit – more loops, stitches and needles. See #1.
5. Beading – that’s what markets are for!
6. Scrapbooking – I keep my photos on my computer these days. And Facebook.
7. Basket weaving – it’s just not me.
8. Calligraphy – isn’t this font available on my computer?
9. Jewellery making – again, that’s what markets are for.
10. Tatting – I had to Google this to find out what it is!
I'm proud, however, to boast about the following:
1. Assemble furniture flat packs
2. Create statistical tables and graphs
3. Mend holes in my socks
4. Create DIY websites
5. Make sweet and sour chilli sauce
6. Design newsletters
8. Solve general computer issues
9. Maintain pot plants
10. Install files and programs onto a new computer
5 creative hobbies I’ve dabbled in
1. Ikebana – Japanese flower arrangement
2. Picture framing
5. Drum making
What's your craft of choice? Or are you a closet techy like me?